Emily's choose your own adventure

((Heh I was slightly insane when I wrote this... So, it will probably be very insane =P))

You open the green door marked ‘Randomness’. Inside the brightly colored room there is a large polka-dotted applesauce, and a purple flying monkey, who is actually green. The monkey is wearing a name tag that says Billy-Bob-Joe-Fred-Slim. You suddenly realize that everyone calls him Bob. Don’t ask how you suddenly realized that, you just did, okay? Anyway you decide you should probably talk to one of them, to figure out how to get out of this place (did I mention the door locked behind you? Um well, it did).

1a. Talk to the applesauce.

2b. Talk to Bob

1a.

You carefully approach the applesauce, your trusty stapler in hand. Applesauce can be quite dangerous you know, you should never go near it without the adequate precautions. You attempt to start a conversation with it, and it stares at you blankly for moment, before pulling out an evil shoe and throws it at you. Unfortunately for you, the shoe explodes on contact, which in turn blows you up as well.

1b.

You approach Bob, and hand him a banana you happened to have in your pocket. You should never talk to a monkey without feeding it you know. It’s quite rude. You’re not exactly sure how long it was in there, but Bob eats it anyway. “Eee! Eee!” Bob screams suddenly, while making elaborate hand gestures. You pull out your Monkey-English dictionary, and look up the phase ‘Eee, eee.” You come up with “I need seventeen hula-hoops to eat a fizzy cake”, or maybe it was, “Look behind you, idiot!” though at this point your not quite sure, since Bob is known to make random comments. Are you sure it isn’t April fools still?

2a. Grab Bob and continue to the next room

2b. Look behind you

2c. Tell Bob he’s either crazy or playing a trick on you

2a.

You decide to grab Bob and continue on. In the next room there is a pit full of rabid hairspray, with vines loosely hanging from the ceiling. You might be able to jump across the pit, but if you fall you’ll defiantly be eaten by the hairspray. However Bob could probably swing you across the vines, though they may not be able to hold your weight.

3a. Try to jump across the pit

3b. Get Bob to swing you over

3c. Look up

3a.

You try and jump across the pit, but unfortunately the ceiling crashes (randomly) and crushes you, although Bob flew away in time. Go Bob!

3b.

You get Bob to swing you across the pit. Unfortunately the vine snaps and you fall into the pit of rabid hairspray. Bob flies away peacefully, not at all concerned that your getting devoured by hairspray.

3c.

You look up, randomly, and spot a trap door. You then ask Bob to fly you up to the trapdoor. You don’t have a choice because I’m too lazy to make another option right now. So anyway Bob flies you up to the trapdoor, which you push open and crawl into. The attic like room which you are now in is piled high with shining gold and glittering jewels. As you reach to pick up an emerald you suddenly awaken. Looks like it was all a dream after all… or was it? Maybe it was just that strange purple jelly you had last night… Anyway this is the only ending where you don’t die, so congrats I guess!

2b.

You turn around and see a giant waffle behind you. The waffle promptly pours maple syrup on you before biting your head off. Revenge of the waffles, finally! MUHAHAHAH-uhh… what evil laughter?! YOU HEARD NOTHING!!!

2c.

You tell Bob he’s crazy, though that might not have been a great idea. Bob jumps on you, causing you to roll into the applesauce, who promptly whacks you on the head with an anvil.