APPOLOGIES

SORRY HSWG I TRIED TO POST AND IT MADE ME THE ADMINISTRATOR
PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGIES

“My Sister -----"

“I have always envied her, even hated her. Not your conventional hate, but the kind that can’t help but love at the same time. I have never been able to think well of myself because of her. She was always more beautiful, more elegant and lovable, everyone loved her. She was beautiful and vivacious, she walked into a room and people instantly noticed her. I was the dowdy overweight sister, the one no one noticed.

She was my life, I lived through her, I made my friends through her. Every friend I ever had, I had because they knew her, I was her sister. I’d introduce myself and say “Hi I’m ---- “her” sister)

I never felt beautiful around her, and I hate myself for writing this, but I need to get it out, to tell someone how I feel, how selfish I really am. I am that blackened being who pretended to be a friend, who hated and loved her, the one who would never tell her if I thought she was wrong, too scared she would revile me as she often did of anyone who crossed her.

I lived my life as her friend and that being who lived in fear of her, she had a way of monopolizing everything, everyone’s attention every experience I had, she had to experience it better. When I learned to read she had to prove she could learn younger, and so she did, when I learned to ride my bike she learned to ride quicker, when we got to choose which toy we wanted she always got first choice.

Every friend, every aunt and uncle, grandfather and grandmother, even my mother loved her more, she was the sacrificial child the one who helped the one who let you cry on her shoulder, the one who was PERFECT.

I suppose she was jealous of me, dad had favored me more, they saw too much of themselves in each other, and hated the other for it. That’s the way it seems to be with sisters, one parent seems to cling to one child better. What happens when you cross the one that was fondest of you?

The pain is so strong, YOU will feel it now as you read this story, and yes I do love you but is an unperfected love, a selfish love, a jealous love, please forgive me.

This poisoned letter is just a reflection of my inner self, what would I be like without Christ? no one should ever see this letter it is too black and bitter to self hating and too tarnishing of you, we all have our black spots, and most of the time we won’t let others see them. Let me enlighten you more of mine.

I hate myself! I hate almost everything about me! And the way I feel about myself perhaps only reflects what others think of me. Everyone loves you, everyone, and those who don’t are too jealous of you to let you know!

You left us and finally my mother sees you for what you had always been, a self-centered self-serving Bitch! Do you remember the times I called you a bitch? How you would always scream at me? How I was always in the wrong in those situations? But you know what? I’m a bitch! A self-centered black and rotting Bitch!

Your dead now, and all these feelings boiled up in an instant and are gone now, you my beloved sister where the inspiration for me to write this story, I have wronged you, I have sinned against you. I believe you are in heaven, Please forgive me.”

An excerpt from “A Blackened Heart” by Karen Spools

I read this book and it both scared and enlightened me, I have envied my sister sometimes to the extent stated in this book. It made me look back and repent before God for my selfish behavior. Sophia will you forgive me for ever feeling even remotely that which has been stared above?

Happy New Year!

Can it be? Yes, an update!

I just want to say happy new year to everyone. I pray that 2007 goes good for all, and that maybe that activity on this blog could pick up a bit (hint hint).

At any rate, I look forward to seeing you all again in 2007!

- Colin

P.S. - When is the Party thingy going to happen, if ever? My place is available, provided that everyone can make the drive.

Ascension Teaser Trailer

This is the teaser trailer for an upcoming project of mine. Please, give honest reviews, and turn up your volume--uploading it to Video Google appears to have messed with the audio somewhat.

Enjoy!

~ Colin

a blind girls sad story

It was the eve of the summer solstice’s banquet and a half lit, rainy night, at the Castle home of Ewan Temes, and Aislin his only child could not be found. The servants were running swiftly about the house looking for their Lords blind daughter. No one thought to look outside, for who would go out on such a night, but Aislin was out in the courtyard reveling in the happiness that the rain drops brought to her sightless body. Arms outstretched to the heavens she sang to herself. She was yet a child but in the blackened night she seemed neither Child nor woman, but more of an apparition, a dream and that is how young Kian McFadden saw her.

Standing not three score feet from him, he held his horse’s reins in his one hand and his hat in the other. He had come from his father’s house for the banquet. He had called at the front gaits, but with the hubbub about finding the lords daughter, his calls remained unanswered. So he had let himself in at the back courtyard gate, and was about to remount his horse and ride the rest of the way to the stables, when he had seen her, standing, dancing in the rain. His horse nickered softly and Aislin stopped dancing, she turned, and Kian would have sworn she had seen him if he hadn’t known she was blind, and stared right at him, her sightless eyes nevertheless searching the blackness in front of her. She called out.

“Who are yee? Aither? Is that yee aither?” she took a few half steps away from him. Leaving his horse Kian closed the distance between them, calling out for her to stay where she was.

“Kian! Is that yee Kian?” her voice seemed relieved.

“ aye ‘tis me Ais’n, but what’re yee doing’ out in this rain?” he took gentle hold of her hands and led her up to the main courtyard door, and into the main hall of the castle, calling all the while for the master of the house.

The House keeper ran from dining hall, where she had been looking, when she heard the shouts. She was breathing hard when she found the two Youths in the main hall, both of them dripping wet.

“Aislin Miare Temes! We’ve been about the Whole castle a’ lookin’ for yee, and now look at yee dripping muddy water all along me cleanly scrubbed floors. Oh, yee’ll be a hearing from yer aither about this ‘un.” The housekeeper, Kelly O’Shauncy’s face was red by the time she finished, and she took a long needed breath, as she looked thankfully at Kian.

“Why Kian, we weren’t expecting yee till t’morrow, but thank the Lord yee came when yee did, or none of us would o’ found her till morning, and by then she’d be dead in this weather.” The house keeper called for blankets, for the young ones, and a stable boy, to put a way the young lord’s horse.

Kian was long in bed, when he heard the lord Temes visit Aislin’s chambers; there was some whispering and a little crying, but nothing out of the normal for a father scolding a naughty child. A short time after the crying had stopped the lord Temes’ candle light passed Kian’s door. After a few moments Kian was almost a sleep, but a little knock at his door woke him completely, he looked at the door, but no light from a candle illuminated the floor. He rose from his bed and walked with his bare feet on the cold stone floor, until he reached the door. He pulled it open and in the light from the dying fire her saw it was Aislin with tears trailing down her cheeks. She did not look at him but went strait to his bed, pulled the sheets up to her chin and fell asleep.

Kian a little drowsy but not unused to this, closed his door and went back to his bed.

He made certain that Aislin was well covered, then lay down and turned to watch her sleep.

“She’s a sweet child. The boy thought to himself as he drifted slowly back to sleep.

Kian was two years older than Aislin, who would celebrate her tenth birthday on the morrow.

Kian woke to Aislin curled around him, and her long, thin fingers tangled in his hair. He was used to it, they had been raised as brother and sister, when her mother died she was two years old and had come to live with his family for a few years. He did not understand that at their age it would be considered improper to be sleeping in even the same room, they had been doing it for years and no one had told them not to. He woke her by untangling himself from her grasp.

Aislin sat up and yawned loudly, stretching her thin arms above her head. Kian had already undressed and was washing in the water basin, when she silently tiptoed back to her room, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

Aislin dressed quietly and efficiently, Kian’s mother had taught Aislin to dress herself when she was six, so that she would not have to rely on anyone for her necessities when she went back to her father’s house.

Kian guided her down the stairs and into the dinning room, although she really needed no help. On her second birthday she and her mother had taken the carriage to town when the carriage tipped over, Blinding Aislin and killing her mother. That was when Aislin had become a big part of Kian’s life.

When they entered the breakfast dinning room a great shout erupted.

“Happy tenth birthday Aislin!” Aislin’s close family and half the house staff where waiting for her in the room. Aislin sat at the head of the table, with Kian to her right and her father to her left. Ewan Temes whispered in his daughter’s ear.
“Happy birthday! My girl is ten years old.” She shied slightly away from him, but a smile stayed on her face, her blind green eyes looked at the spot where Kian sat.

Throughout the birthday breakfast Aislin was handed all sorts of Presents, from rich neighbors to family members to poor servants, who had scraped together what they could to buy the special girl a gift.

After breakfast Kian and Aislin went into the courtyard, where the morning sun had dried up the previous nights attempts at flooding.

They spent the rest of the morning running about the inner courtyard playing little games and stopping to enjoy the warm early summer’s sun.

When lunch rolled around they were called in to the castle to watch, or listen to, in Aislin’s case, the summer solstice’s yearly ritual of putting out the castle’s main fire, though the kitchen fires would be kept up, but the rest of the house would spend the summer long without a fire in any hearth.

A great feast was held that night, all of the winters leftover stores were eaten, and a few jugs of last summers ale was brought out for the ‘tasting’. A ritual that included the downing of seven pints of ale, in the quickest time, the winner sat at the head table with the lord of the house. The lord Temes of course could not participate in such events, being the host of such a large party, and preferred to sit at the head table and watch all the crazy things people would do.

It was nearly midnight and Kian and Aislin had snuck off to the castles only tower, to watch the sun set.

“Aislin, me aither is sending me away at the end of summer, to the high Kings court.”

Aislin said nothing, but laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beat.

“Will yee come back for the winter?” her voice broke a little.

“nay, Ais’in, I’ll be gone, for five strait years. Not ain me own maither will be a seeing me, unless she comes to court herself.

At this point tears filled both Kian and Aislin’s eyes. They both sat down in the light cast by the towers west facing window. Aislin cried quietly until Kian nudged her softly.

“The sun ‘as set now Ais’in, we best be getting to bed. And don’t worry I’ll be with yee the rest of the summer.” With that Aislin calmed down, and they walked down the tower steps and back to their rooms.

The rest of the summer seemed to the children, to never end. They had gone on many picnics and secret outings, and played many games in the confined rooms of the castle, but now, the dreaded day lay but 24 hours away.

Kian rose from his bed, Aislin had come again last night, as she had every night, tears dripping down off her chin, dreading the thought of his leaving.

She was still asleep and curled into the ball she had formed when Kian flung the blankets off in the middle of the very hot night.

Kian took his time dressing quietly so as not to wake Aislin. Both dreading and cherishing his last day with her, his only friend. They were both their parents only children and he, being a Dukes son, had never been allowed to play with the servants children. Finally he finished his morning routine and resolved to wake Aislin. He leaned over to the far side of the bed to nudge her shoulder, when the door opened. He jerked his head toward the door, startled, and pulled back impulsively from Aislin.

Ewan Temes Stood in the doorway eyeing the two youths, Kian standing and Aislin, His daughter, lying asleep in the bed. Unreasonable anger seared through his veins. Aislin was his and his alone! He opened his mouth to speak but quelled the burning words, and stifled his anger. He could give nothing away, especially to Kian, the dukes son! If anyone could take Aislin away from him, Kian could. And if Kian had known the source of that look of enraged jealousy on the lord’s face, he most surely would have taken Aislin away that very day. But the lord Temes recovered quickly and placed a plastic smile on his face.

“ ah, lord Kian, so this is where Aislin has been disappearing to!” he chuckled hollowly.

“ I was beginning to worry about her nighttime disappearances. But I know she is safe with you.” He cleared his throat, walked further into the room and closed the door behind him.

“ I came to tell you, you father sent a post this morning requesting you leave tonight instead of early next morn, he expressed a wish to see you before you headed to the high court.” As he spoke he handed the young lord a note penned in the dukes hand and the broken wax seal revealing the dukes mark.

“ the note was addressed to myself, but your father requested I show it to you, as he assumed you would object unless given proof of such a wish.” Ewan watched Kian’s face change from surprise, to worry, back to surprise, to rebellion and finally, resigned obedience.

Chapter 2

When Ewan left, Kian sat moping on the edge of his bed. His father could be so demanding. He looked over his shoulder at Aislin, who had begun stirring, and sighed.

“She’s my only friend, when I go who will protect her? That was my job.” He mumbled half to himself and half to God.

“Ais’in?” his loud voice shattered her fragile sleep and she grunted a reply.

“ I have to leave tonight, Me Aither sent a post.” He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Ais’in? Are yee hearing me? This is our last day together.” She began to cry very quietly, and the boy folded her into his arms, willing his eyes to stay dry. A burning sensation coursed through his muscles and a fire raged in his chest. How dare his father take him away from here! How dare he, the King could find some other companion! He would stay with Aislin.

“Quick Ais’in, get dressed.” He said standing her up on her feet.

“ and meet me back here, where going on a secret adventure!”

Sam-Fiction from spaaace!

Or not. Anyhow, here's my Sam story.

---

Snow blew in the faces of armored guards standing on either side of a blast door in an arctic desert. Neither of the gaurds seemed to mind--they had been standing in just such a fashion for many hours now, as they had been trained to do, and it was considered the most important part of what they'd learned, although, granted, the only other thing they ever really needed to do was pull a trigger on the enemy and hope no one ever did the same to them.

There was a dull clicking noise.

"Didja hear that?" One of the guards asked, his accent bluntly illustrating the fact he was from Australia.

"Hear what?" The second guard's accent mirrored the first.

The clicking noise came again.

"That!"

"I dun' hear nothing."

There came a forboding ker-chak noise.

"C'mon mate, you gotta hear that!"

"Hear wha--?" The second guard turned around and noticed a vague outline holding another vauge outline which looked suspiciously like a shotgun. "Oh, crap--"

The first blast hit the unlucky guard in a very uncomfortable location. The second missed as the other guard leapt expertly out of the way.

"D*mn!" Sam yelled in an impressive feat of speech. His ACME cloaking device deactivated as he made tracks away from the remaining guard, who stood firing his weapon haphazardly at Sam, but he'd already fled behind a convenient ice pillar.

"Gotcha now mate!" The guard reloaded his weapon and was about to expose the infiltrator when he heard a hissing noise from the vicinity of his foot.

He looked down to see a sticky grenade which had latched on to his toe.

"Crikey!"

The small explosion that followed blew the guard high into he snowy sky. Sam came out of his impromptu hiding place and noted with pleasure that the guard's boots had been left standing in the snow.

"Criiiiiiiikeeeeeeey..."

The guard landed in the snow with a heavy thud. His bootless feet twitched. "Bollocks."

"Why's every secret base gotta be in some place cold?" Sam muttered as he shot the door open. He stepped inside into a suspiciously well-lit corridor, and booted feet made snowy prints on the carpeted floor as he made his way down to the elevator.

There was a clicking noise as someone turned a lightswitch off. Sam was plunged into darkness.

And then, there was a noise.

Well...not so much a noise, as a change in the texture of the air, as if something had just flown by very quickly and very silently...

...and why couldn't Sam feel his shotgun anymore?

Oh, no...

"Ninjas..." Sam whispered.

"Indeed," a voice somewhere in front of Sam replied. "Wouldja care to explain just what you're doin' inside our fine facility, mate?"

"Austrialian ninjas," Sam corrected himself. "Uh...I'm here because you guys stole my jacket."

"Ohhhh. Would this be the one that's capable of holding copious amounts of armament?"

"Yeah."

"Ooh, sorry mate, but it seems it's not here. And by the way, have your eyes adjusted to the darkness yet?"

"I think so, why?"

There was a click as a flashlight beam was directed right into Sam's eyes.

The Australian ninja laughed as sam lay twitching on the floor, one hand over his abused eye.

"I thought you ninjas considered it dishonorable to strike at a weak spot," Sam said betwen whimpers.

"It ain't dishonorable to strike at a weak spot openly, mate."

"'Openly'? Please, I can't even see you--"

"Well, we'll have to do something about that, now won't we?"

The lights came back on abruptly.

And there, standing a scant meter form where Sam lay on the ground, was the Aussie Ninja (in typical ninja garb), holding Sam's shotgun in one hand and a katana in the other.

"So, how should we do this, then?" The ninja asked.

"Well," Sam replied as he picked himself up, "You give me my shotgun and I guess we fight hand-to-hand...er, shotgun-to-katana, I mean."

"Now, isn't that just a bit unfair, mate? I mean, what with you having a big boomstick and all..."

"Yeah, except the chamber's empty and I haven't reloaded."

"Really?" The ninja raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I'm inclined to beleive that but then...let's get on with it, shall we?" He tossed Sam his empty shotgun.

Before Sam even had his most cherished weapon in his hands, the ninja was moving toward him in a blur of blue-black motion. There was the sound of something being sliced, and Sam felt around his body searching for an injury before he noticed one of his eyebrows falling lazily to the ground.

"Impressive," Sam said. "But wait 'till you see this!"

He whirled and threw his shotgun at the ninja, who dodged it easily simply by flying out of the way and latching onto the wall.

"Sorry, mate, but'cha missed."

Sam smiled. "I never miss."

It was then that the Australian Ninja looked down and saw a plastic explosive taped neatly to his chest. He looked up in shock. "Crikey! How did you--?"

"I knew a guy once," Sam answered simply. "He taught me a few of your tricks."

The ninja snorted, ripped away the fabric the explosive was attached to, and tossed it down the corridor where it detonated harmlessly against a lighting fixture.

"Again, I fail to be impressed, mate."

"No worries," Sam said as he picked up his shotgun. "I lied, anyway."

The ninja gaped. "You did? About what?"

"There is still a round in the chamber." Sam aimed high and blew away the strings holding up a massive sign marked "THIS WAY TO CORONER'S OFFICE". It landed on top of the ninja with a heavy krong.

"D**n sign," the ninja said in a feat of linguistics more impressive than Sam's. He collapsed to the ground in a heap.

Sam smiled and moved on.

***

An entire army was waiting at the elevator's destination. A pair of tanks and dozens of soldiers aimed various types of armament that could individually wipe out an entire house in one blow or together could vaporize a small continent.

The elevator doors opened with a ding. But, just as the squad leader was about to give the order to fire, he noticed, too late, the wall of light that was spreading outward from the elevator doors in a massive explosion.

When the dust settled, Sam jumped out from above the elevator and held a hand out and watched, triumphant, as his coat floated down lazily into his grasp. Ash was raining down from above.

A disembodied voice somewhere broadcast "Sam wins! FATALITY!" just as the jacketed hero entered the shaft and began the long climb back up to the surface.

He was beginning to regret blowing up the elevator.

Sam against the Amish

Title says it all, really.

SAM AGAINST THE AMISH!!!1!ONE!ELEVENTYONE!

Sam walked through the idyllic countryside, his destination lying only a few kilometers ahead. He was on vacation, and he planned to enjoy it.

What better way to enjoy a vacation than at an Amish farming community?

The little village lay ahead, the inhabitants working in the fields. Sam smiled and waved at them as he walked past, hearing the cheery sound of birds chirping.

The windmill turned in the light breeze, perfecting the picture of peace and happiness that surrounded Sam.

He smiled happily, his coat flapping in the breeze as the elder shambled up to him.

“graaaaaaaagh. Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains.” The elder moaned some incomprehensible dialect.

Sam scratched his head. He didn’t know any German, and that could prove a problem. Then he smiled as he figured it out.

“eurrrrrgghhhh. Liiiiiiiiiiiiveeeeeeers.”

The elder clapped him on the shoulder and led him towards the town hall.

Inside, there was a feast laid out on the tables… uncooked brains, apparently. Sam had thought the Amish were excellent cooks, but it seemed he was wrong. Ah well! Can’t offend the locals! He quickly tried to think of something to say to get out of eating raw brains.

“graaaaaaaaaagh. Beeeeeefsteaaaaaaaak.”

The elder turned his head, and looked Sam sharply in the eye. Then he lifted up Sam’s hand and examined it carefully. Sam was confused, but accepted this behavior with good grace. At least, until the elder tried to bite it.

Sam jerked his hand back underneath his coat, and quickly pulled out his trusty shotgun, pointing it at the elders head. It was then that he noticed the odor of rotting flesh, and the fact that the elder was, in fact, rotting. His shotgun blast ensured that the rotting would take place all over the room.

The other feasting zombies all jerked upright, and started shambling directly towards Sam. He fired his shotgun twice more, blowing the horde back, and then sprinted out the door towards the mill.

As he darted across the roads, he noticed the sun was beginning to set, yet another definite advantage for the zombies. He shook his head angrily, and headed into the mill, the wind beginning to pick up at last.

Inside, gears rumbled, casting moving shadows over Sam’s face as he heard the moans of the approaching zombies. He quickly barricaded the only door on the lower level, cutting off the zombies’ access. Not much was going to get through a Sam-built barricade, after all.

After he finished, he dashed up the stairs to the maintenance balcony, and watched the swarming hordes below trying to turn the doorknob. He laughed, and sat down to wait.

Now, a few little-known facts about Ninjas!

Ninjas are mammals.

Ninjas fight ALL the time.

The purpose of a Ninja is to flip out and kill stuff.

Ninjas can fly.

Sam was well aware of the first three Ninja facts; however, in his deadly Tokyo duel with the cyber ninjas, he wasn’t aware that flight was an inherent capability of the Ninja. So, it is excusable that he wasn’t prepared for the five Amish Zombie Ninjas to leap onto the balcony just before he fell asleep.

They landed silently, their long blades glittering in the moonlight. One of them raised his sword above Sam’s head, but before he could land the killing blow, Sam swung his own sword out, and a desperate duel began.

Their blades glinting and flashing, sparks flying when they hit, Sam parried every blow made by the Ninjas, his own blade slicing out across flesh every few moments. He dropped to the ground to avoid one blow, then leaped up, flipped over the zombies head, and neatly decapitated him. Unfortunately, there were still four Amish left, and he had just flipped onto the railing of the balcony.

A blade sliced down towards one foot, and Sam dropped down, doing the splits as he drove his sword into a ninja’s head, pinning him against the wall, he used his sword for leverage to vault off of the railing, grabbing the zombies sword, and blocking the next strike an Amish threw at him.

Another flurry of blades erupted, this time Sam being pushed heavily onto the defensive. He took one step back, then two, then dropped to the ground and rolled back, his hand diving inside his coat to pull out his shotgun. He fired, and the ninjas jumped away, two of them off the platform, where they got wailed by the windmills arms, now moving incredibly quickly thanks to the motor Sam had hooked up to the gears inside.

The last ninja landed on the roof, and struck a pose, before leaping onto the arms of the windmill, grasping onto it and staring defiantly at Sam. Sam followed, landing on the same arm as the zombie, and their dual began again. Sam blocked the Amish’s blows easily, and finally drop-kicked the ninjas rotting head, exploding it into several gory pieces. He hopped back onto the balcony, and watched the sun come up, evaporating all the zombies who were still battering on the windmill door.

Sam leaned back and breathed a sigh of relaxation. The country was so nice.

(Colin) Homeworld Backstory

This is the background story and info to the original Homeworld computer game. It fills in a few of the missing details you may have been wondering about in "Ascension". If you can get Homeworld, I highly recommend it--it puts many a movie to shame with the awesome cinematic sequences, despite its graphical inferiority.